


i'm a believer (and i couldn’t leave her if i tried)

by Ford_Ye_Fiji



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Humor, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Animal Abuse, BAMF Allison Hargreeves, BAMF Number Five | The Boy, BUT LIKE NOT ANYTHING GROSS, Blood and Violence, Canon-Typical Violence, Crack Treated Seriously, Drug Use, F/M, Family Bonding, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Number Five | The Boy Gets A Hug, Number Five | The Boy Has Issues, Number Five | The Boy Needs A Hug, Number Five | The Boy is So Done, Number Five | The Boy-centric, Past Incest, Romance, Stressed Number Five | The Boy, Strong Language, drug mule?, just acknowledging that luther/Allison ship as a mistake and moving on, look I know the tags are weird, maybe?????, nothing graphic at all, yeah that’s that there
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-18 11:20:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29242725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ford_Ye_Fiji/pseuds/Ford_Ye_Fiji
Summary: Allison, Klaus, and Five end up at Gimbel's department store to "shop". (aka Five wanted to see his wife again and his siblings saw an Opportunity.) However, Dolores is missing and it’s up to Allison, Klaus, and Five to find and retrieve their wayward sister-in-law- wherever she may be.
Relationships: Dolores/Number Five | The Boy (Umbrella Academy)
Comments: 31
Kudos: 68





	1. love was out to get me, that’s the way it seems

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was for the tua Big Bang! Which ended up having to close T^T but I finished the story so I figured why not still post it?

Five sipped on his piña colada, slumping with exhaustion in a rumpled white tee shirt, an undone tie, and an unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt in colors so bright and garish that it hurt to look at him. He crossed his legs, not bothered by the heat of the ( _very_ ) early summer morning despite his multiple layers, long gray slacks, and shiny dress shoes. Allison lay next to him, clearly tired and battered. She lifted up her shutter shades to ruffle his mussed hair. When she saw the blood splattering his clothes, she sighed, "We really should do something about that."

Five looked at her over his scratched aviators, immensely tired, "The blood is the least of our problems, Allison." Allison nodded with agreement, conceding readily, "Well you have a point there." She twirled her necklace of flowers, before reaching down, past her torn and shredded sea green evening gown, to pick off the stiletto heels she was still wearing and tossing them aside.

Klaus snorted, a hand reaching up to scratch his tangled hair, the diamond studded barrette trying desperately to hold it back from his face, "We probably should be worried about the cops. Five killed a man." He frowned, pulling at his backwards dress shirt and long feathered green boa that very clearly matched his sister's dress, " _Several_ men." He stretched his long legs, wearing only white boxer shorts and one singular dress shoe, the other foot had a single stained sock in bright rainbow colors. He sipped on his own cup, a bright pink fruity concoction with a small paper pink umbrella that matched the one in Five's drink, "How did we even get here?"

Five raised his glass before taking a sip, "Good question." The dog in his lap snuffled slightly and licked the underside of Five's chin. Five, impossibly, softened and scratched the dog's head.

There was movement and they looked up, Five bracing himself for a jump with dog and drink still in hand. Allison shifted, preparing to move in case she needed to fight and Klaus squinted, utterly relaxed.

A figure approached with a flashlight, stopping to stare down at them. It was a man in a uniform. He put his hands on his hips, frowning at them, "Hey! Get out of the fountain, this is hotel property."

The three siblings looked up at him, from where they sat, rumpled and tired in the basin of the empty fountain by the sign advertising the Perryman Grand Hotel, only one mile away.

Five sagged and then held up his middle finger.

Klaus booed, picked off his single remaining shoe, and threw it at the man who yelped and ducked, "Fuck off!"

Allison giggled.

Five sighed.

How had they gotten in this mess again?

* * *

"Klaus. You are trying my patience."

Klaus looked over him, eyes shining, "What? But you look great!"

Five stood, arms out and stance impressively awkward, the t-shirt hanging loosely off of him. Klaus was pleased as punch about it and Allison supposed that was sensible considering the shirt declared in big bold letters, ' _I'm only five_ ,' and then under it in very small letters, ' _Decades old._ ' It was, in a sense, perfect, which of course meant that Five hated it.

The person in question grit his teeth, ready to explode, "Allison. May I _please_ go change."

His tone was full of a dangerous warning about the atrocities and/or war crimes he might commit if she didn’t say yes.

Allison, who was unsuccessfully suppressing laughter, nodded an affirmative.

Five stomped back into the changing room, muttering angrily.

Klaus sighed, hands clasped, fake adoration and mocking pride painting his face, "Ah puberty. One of the many joys of teenagers."

Allison snorted, lips curving upwards at her brother's antics, "Puberty _and_ the stress of retirement."

Klaus cackled as Five came back out, glaring as if he knew that they were talking about him. Which to be fair, they _were_. He straightened the sweater of his Umbrella Academy uniform, his expression one that could only be described as hissy, "You’ve got more than enough clothing, we're visiting Dolores now."

Allison nodded contritely, folding her hands in front of her, "Of course, Five. We can go see Dolores now."

It was a short walk from the children's section to the women's, but it felt like an eternity to Number Five. He hadn’t seen his wife since his two weeks from Actual Hell, as he had decided to refer to them, which was saying something since he’d spent a lifetime in the literal apocalypse- complete with fire and brimstone. He wondered how Dolores was doing, if she was fitting in with her friends again, if she missed him like he did.

Five turned the corner, expecting to see his wife waiting for him. He stopped short, face paling, as he saw a strange mannequin in her place. She looked nothing like his wife with fake blonde hair, wide unnatural eyes, and exaggerated lips curved in a plastic pout.

Klaus bumped into the back of him, his confusion written on his face, "Five? Little buddy? Hey- you’re not breathing-“

Five turned, chest hitching, his world crumbling as he tried to remember if this was where he'd put Dolores and it was- it was, "Klaus- Klaus she's not here. She’s _gone_."

Where was she? What had happened to her? Would- would the Commission have taken her? No, the Handler- she might be spiteful enough to do it. But she didn’t know about Dolores, he’d been careful enough to make sure she never knew so who had...? _What_ had...?

Allison moved forward and studied the mannequin's faces as if she might recognize one of them as her sister-in-law, "Is she? Are you sure?"

Five squinted at her, irritation building out of his fear. His anger was easy, familiar, and oh so secure to draw about him, "She's my _wife_. Of course I would know her. And none of these are her. Where would they put her-?”

Klaus winced, clearly thinking of something. Allison frowned at him, noticing the full-body grimace, "Klaus? What’s wrong?" He shook his head, frantically pantomiming at her to be quiet, but Five had already turned and seen his devastated expression, "What? Spit it out."

Klaus opened and closed his mouth, clearly realizing he wasn’t going to be avoiding this. He started speaking very slowly, "Ah... Five... Dolores was... Dolores was pretty... she's um..."

Five's eyes narrowed.

Klaus blurted, throwing his hands out as he sensed the danger he was about to be in if he wasn't more forthcoming, "She's missing an arm and both legs! She got shot, buddy. I don’t- I don’t... they probably threw her out, Five."

Allison and Klaus both saw the moment Five came to the same conclusion they had. His face paled, his lips thinned, and his eyes hardened. He took a step back and shook his head, voice breaking, " _No_. No, they _didn’t_. I _refuse_ to believe it. They didn’t- I didn’t bring Dolores back just for them to- to-“

Allison started sadly, reaching a hand out, to help, to hold, to heal, " _Five-_ “

He turned, brushing away her outstretched hand, angry, either at himself or at his circumstances, they didn’t know, "No. She's not gone. She _isn’t_."

He stalked away, a small hunched figure, as Allison called after him with worry, "Five, where are you going?"

He threw back over his shoulder to spit, "To find someone who knows where she is!”

Allison winced, "Oh no."

She and Klaus exchanged a ' _look_ ', a look which many siblings have- a universal look which communicates the colossal stupidity that they _know_ their family is about to get up too.

They both darted after him.


	2. disappointment haunted all my dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five is a menace, Klaus has the brain cells, Allison seriously considers rumoring her brother.

Five leaned forward, his teeth bared, his hands fisted in the store manager's shirt. He would’ve been almost humorously dwarfed by the manager if the man hadn’t been cowering, " _I said_ , where the fuck is _my wife_?"

The man trembled, terrified and perplexed, another poor and equally hapless employee shaking behind him, "I’m sorry sir, I don’t- I don’t _know_ \- look, I’m gonna have to ask you to leave-“

Klaus put a hand on Five's shoulder, hoping to calm him and prevent a homicide, "Hey, hey, buddy, I don’t think they know where Dolores is-“

Allison shook her head, face in her hands, hoping no one would think she was related to the murderous child about to break a man's face in. Five scoffed, not breaking eye contact with his newest victim, "Oh, he _knows_. How couldn’t he know? He’s in charge here!"

Klaus scratched his neck, wracking his head for a solution, "I mean, he might not know about a random missing mannequin, buddy-“

The man blubbered, possibly crying, "We don't even sell mannequins here!"

Five snarled as the two employees cowered back in fear from the wrath of this small angry child, "We're not looking to buy. Now, I’m only gonna ask this one more time. _Where is my wife?_ " 

Allison decided that she didn’t care what people thought- she had to intervene before they all got arrested. She put a hand over Five's chest, a dangerous gamble, and tried to push him back. For someone so skinny, he didn’t budge an inch, "Five, this isn’t going to go anywhere. Let me take care of this, okay?"

Five eyed her, lips thinning as she stared down at him, her eyes widening with warning as she continued glaring. After a moment, Five huffed and let go of the man's shirt. He clenched and unclenched his fingers before, after another moment, taking a reluctant step back.

The man slumped, almost groaning with relief as Allison stepped up, pasting on a polite smile which only served to make her look even more stressed. Klaus nibbled on his knuckles and Five glowered at them from behind her as she began to speak, "Look, sir. We're looking for a mannequin that was at your store. Missing it- _her_ legs and an arm?"

Five growled out an addendum, "Smarter than you’ll ever be. Extremely witty. Distressingly kind. Absolutely beautiful." He glared at Allison, as if she should’ve known these things about her. Allison smiled tightly back at him. If he started threatening bodily harm again, she _would_ start rumoring people.

The man shrugged, even more confused, "I- I don’t-“

Five's eyes narrowed with dangerous warning as he took a step closer, still staying behind his sister. The man gulped, plastering himself even further back against the counter, trembling.

Klaus snapped his fingers with a shout that startled the manager, who gave an unflattering yelp before clapping his hand over his mouth at Five's glare of irritation. Klaus continued on, oblivious, "There was a shootout! Here, at the store! The place was all shot up! A little after then."

Five looked his brother up and down, "How did you know that?"

Klaus shrugged, scratching his chin, "Diego said something about it? Plus, there was this one time you were _really_ drunk-“

Five shook his head, waving him off with an angry huff, "Forget it, I don’t care." The manager stared at them with complete and utter confusion as Five turned his attention back to him, "I asked a woman to watch over her but I didn’t see her name tag. Where is she?" 

The man shrugged again, desperately trying to get them to understand, his voice taking a shrill turn, " _I don’t know!_ "

Five growled and the manager squeaked. The employee behind him asked tentatively, drawing their attention away from his boss as he raised a hand slowly, "Maybe give us a description of her? I- I... maybe we know her."

Five seemed placated by this, the urge to bodily harm the man subsiding, at least for the moment. Allison sighed, "Yes. That might help."

Five eyed them both with distrust, but, at Allison's urging, gave a description of the woman. The employee's brows furrowed as he chewed on his lip nervously, clearly hesitant to admit something, "I’m sorry, but I don’t... I don’t know her."

The manager shushed him with a irate glare, "I do. She was let go a while back. Pay cuts or whatever. Her name is Penny Martinez. Now will you please leave?"

Five nodded, curtly, "If you give us her address."

The employee gaped with appalled astonishment, "No!" The manager nodded fervently, ready to be rid of them forever, "Yes!"

The employee glanced up at his manager, suddenly unsure, "But... but isn’t that illegal...?"

The manager shook his head, miming frantic be quiet motions, before smiling nervously at Five, sweat beading on his forehead, "Of course we can get you those, Thomas here," the manager hissed furiously at the nearest convenient outlet for his stress, "Just doesn't know what the fuck he’s talking about." He laughed, not at all amused by the situation, "Let me just go look in a file or something."

Allison raised an eyebrow, arms crossed, not liking his attitude at all. She smiled sweetly, all teeth, "Here, let me go with you."

That was smart, Five didn’t want the man calling security while he was gone. That would absolutely not end well. For them, not him, obviously. He just didn’t feel like killing any security guards today.

The manager nodded, voice high, "Alright, sure. Why not?" He walked quickly away, clearly panicked as Allison followed him.

The employee swallowed nervously, as anyone would be if left behind with a man who didn’t seem to really care about anything at all and a small high-strung thirteen year old boy who seemed as if he was about to snap and kill a man at any moment.

Klaus leaned over the counter, whispering conspiratorially, "If it makes you feel any better, ah, Thomas, this is absolutely illegal."

Five rolled his eyes, "Shut up, Klaus."


	3. what’s the use in trying? all you get is pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang commits some minor breaking and entering. Allison is her family's sugar daddy.

Penny Martinez lived in a terrible part of town. Klaus lamented about how bad he felt for her as his brother stomped out of their taxi cab, clearly a man on a mission and not in the mood for his brother’s theatrics. Allison sighed after having paid their fare, "Look, Five, I know how hard this is for you-“

Five held up his hand, which quickly turned into a fist that he let fall before he ran his fingers through his hair, movements jerky with agitation, " _No_ , Allison. I don’t want to hear it. She was the last person to see Dolores. She _knows_ where she is. She _has_ to know where she is- they didn’t- she's not gone- I _refuse_ -“ he snarled, voice cracking, almost heartbreaking in its intensity, "She's fine."

Five turned back around, fists clenched as he shoved them into his pockets and stormed down the cracked sidewalk.

Allison sighed, hanging her head and staring up at the sky.

Klaus took her hand, humming, "It’s true love, sis. You can’t stand in the way of that."

Allison yanked her hand out of his, "Don't even start, Klaus."

Klaus seemed hurt, brows furrowing. Allison sighed, "Sorry," and took his hand, "Five is just- he’s driving me up the damn wall."

Klaus unsuccessfully hid his renewed cheer and shrugged, swinging their clasped hands, "Well, I’d forgotten how psychotic he can get. He hasn’t been on a tear like this in, oh ages! I guess this is what he’s like when a person he loves is in danger!"

Allison frowned, lips pursing as she tried to recall his last tantrum, "Yeah... when was the last time he went on a crazy rampage like this?" 

Klaus hummed absentmindedly, waving a hand as if shooing a fly, "Oh, definitely the apocalypse. Nothing recent, thank God."

Allison, impossibly, softened, the edge of an epiphany there, "Oh."

Five, ahead of them, paused to glower up at the street signs. After a moment, he nodded and stormed down the crosswalk, clearly still upset. Someone yelled and a car screeched to a stop with a loud honk. Five held up his middle finger at the car and the owner inside who began shouting out his window.

Allison pinched the bridge of her nose, patience quickly evaporating as she pulled her brother along after her, "C'mon, Klaus. If we don’t stop him, he’s going to kill someone."

Klaus sighed, eyeing his brother turn sharply on his heel to shout obscenities at the car before moving on again, "Really, would that be so bad?"

"Yes, Klaus. Yes, it would," She threw an apologetic smile at some of the passerby who seemed especially appalled at Five's behavior.

Klaus followed his sister as Five moved on, hands buried in his pockets, lips twisted with murderous rage, "We do have to support each other, I guess." A sigh, "I mean all this togetherness shit we've been trying needs to be used for _something_."

Allison nodded, surprised that he’d actually paid attention to their family meetings sometimes, "Yeah..."

Klaus nodded, yawning as he continued, "And I mean he’s looking for his wife, so s'not like it’s not a noble cause."

Allison's brow furrowed, lips twisting as she remembered who- or what, more accurately, that they were talking about, "It’s a mannequin, Klaus."

Klaus lifted an eyebrow, as if the "person" that they were supposedly searching for was a person and wasn’t merely a hunk of plastic, as if that fact wasn’t supposed to make a difference, "So? It’s Five. She was there for him in the apocalypse, even when we weren’t. We owe her one, right?"

Allison shook her head, still not convinced, "Yeah, I suppose we do."

Klaus jabbed mischievously, something playful in him, "And besides, you literally dated your own brother."

Allison shoved him, glad the topic had moved on even if it was to incest, "Shut up, God! Am I never going to live that down?" Klaus snickered, "No."

Allison sighed and shook her head again, a soft smile pulling at her lips from the lighthearted teasing, shoulders bumping with Klaus as they turned the corner. Klaus stretched, “At least Five hasn’t called us stupid in awhile."

They both started as Five yelled at that exact moment from up ahead, "Hey, idiots! We're here."

Allison and Klaus glanced to him and then back at each other before bursting into laughter. Five rolled his eyes, muttering bitterly, "This is what I get for telling people things." He braced himself and vanished.

Klaus wheezed, wiping tears from his eyes as Allison cackled, shaking with mirth, "So much for that new record."

* * *

Five landed in the hallway of the apartment with an almost inaudible thump. He glanced around the narrow walkway before moving forward, ready for a fight. No one charged out to confront him so he pushed open a door, peering in cautiously. After a few more moments of listening and looking, he confirmed it. Penny wasn’t home.

Of course she wasn’t.

It could never be that simple.

Five sighed.

He absolutely did not stomp towards the front door, unlocking it and pushing it open. He glared over the small balcony as his siblings walked towards the stairs, three steps behind him as usual, "Hey, morons. Up here."

Allison rolled her eyes, Five closing the door on Klaus's retort. He was being extremely rude, but he didn’t want to hear it right now. Dolores was the priority and he knew neither of them were taking this seriously. They thought that he was a child, looking for something that didn’t matter... His insides twisted as he examined the living room carefully. It was a perfectly ordinary room, completely in line with her minimum wage job. No signs of suspicious newly acquired wealth. He studied the picture frames. No father. Just pictures of her with a brother and a mother.

He had finished with his search of the other rooms and was rifling through her closet by the time Allison and Klaus arrived. He heard his siblings push the door open with a creak and a cautious, "Five?"

He didn’t bother answering.

They’d find him soon enough.

He straightened with dissatisfaction, putting the boxes he’d pulled out back into place. His search had been meticulous and very through. Dolores wasn’t here at least. Not that he’d thought she was. He had _hoped_ , perhaps, but it had been a very slim hope.

He _needed_ to find Penny.

She was the last one to see Dolores. She _had_ to know where she was.

He turned to see Allison frowning at him, clearly unimpressed, arms crossed, "Seriously, Five? Get out of the closet. We're breaking and entering, the last thing we need to be charged with is burglary."

Klaus spoke up from the other room, "Hey guys?"

They both ignored him.

Allison's attitude was getting on his nerves so Five crossed his arms as well, eyebrow raising. He was, perhaps, going to be extremely difficult on purpose, "Burglary is the least of my concerns. Penny isn’t here and neither is Dolores."

Allison shook her head, "Well..." she sighed, shoulders slumping, "We have to find where Penny is then. She must have something about a job here somewhere."

Five eyed her suspiciously, wondering why she was on his side now. He shrugged, thinking, "Well, we'll probably have to go through her things. That will take a while. We should check the calendar first, then the mail-“

"Hey!" Klaus threw himself into the room, eyes wide as he hung on the doorframe, "Didn't you guys hear me?"

Allison lied smoothly, "No."

Five snorted and replied at the same time, painfully blunt, "Of course. I was ignoring you."

Klaus rolled his eyes, clearly sulking now, "Well if you’re going to be like that, then I won’t tell you where Penny Martinez is."

Five let his arms fall to his sides, "What? Where?"

Klaus shrugged and leaned against the doorframe casually, "Oh, I don’t know. I thought you were ignoring me."

Five actually growled, teeth gritting, "Klaus, I will rip the flesh from your bones-“

"Whoa!" Allison held up her hands, "Klaus. _Five_."

Both of her brothers stopped and stared at her. Five stood, still tense and sneering, Klaus, however, remained artfully unbothered. Allison glanced between them, "Klaus. Will you _please_ stop being such an asshole," Klaus scoffed as she continued, "Five, _stop being such an asshole._ "

Five rolled his eyes and petulantly folded his arms.

Klaus huffed but began, "I saw something on her calendar. She’s like catering at a fancy party or something way out in the middle of nowhere. We could go there and get her, but that would mean sneaking in and shit. And like, chocolate fountains are my _life_ -" his voice dipped into a whine, "but getting thrown out is not on my to-do list, guys."

Allison shook her head, amused, "Klaus. We don’t need to sneak in."

"What, why?"

Five's brows furrowed as Allison's lips curved upwards. She smiled, all teeth, "You have me, Klaus."


	4. when I wanted sunshine, I got rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allison, Klaus, and Five have a bonding moment, despite (or because?) of Five's best efforts.

"I’ve always wanted to wear a tux!" Klaus twirled, extremely pleased, "Can I have a top hat, Allison?"

Allison scoffed, carefully adjusting her sea green feathered boa so that it sat around her just so, "Klaus, do I _look_ like I have a top hat? We're just lucky you fit Patrick's old suit."

Five passed by them, pulling at his suit collar as he draped his charcoal gray suit jacket on the arm of a chair, "Klaus, if you wear a top hat, I will be forced to kill you."

Klaus pouted, "Fine." He watched as Five pulled his tie over his head and began tying it with practiced efficiency, "Heeey, little Number Five... do you think you could... I don’t know... help me tie a bow tie?"

Five turned, lifting an eyebrow as he smoothed his necktie down, "You don't know how, Klaus? You literally wore a uniform, for what, seventeen years?"

Klaus whined, hanging his head, "Oh, I don’t remember, Five, that was like years ago-“

"More than _half_ your life-“

Allison shook her head with exasperation, "Here, _I_ can tie it for you, Klaus." She raised her eyebrows pointedly at Five who scowled darkly. Allison began tying it as Five snapped at her, "He won’t learn anything if you don’t teach him."

Allison opened her mouth but Five glared, taking the tie from her. Allison let go with her hands raised in surrender as Five continued speaking not to her, but to their brother, "Klaus, look, I’m going to do it and then I want you to try. So first, you take the two ends..."

Klaus sighed, slumping, upset that this was going to be some sort of _learning_ moment, "Aw, do I have too?"

Both Five and Allison snapped at the same time, words firm, their tone brooking no argument, " _Yes_."

Klaus sighed dramatically but let Five speak.

Allison softened as she watched Five carefully guide Klaus through tying a bow tie. Klaus nodded as Five held out the ends to him, telling him where to start.

Sometimes she forgot that he even cared. Five acted so condescending sometimes, but Allison had the feeling that it wasn’t telling at all of how he really felt. Klaus had said something earlier, about how he got manic when someone he loved was in danger. The last time he’d acted in such a way was in the last two apocalypses. There was only one logical conclusion to draw from that, if Klaus was indeed correct. She wanted to ask... to confirm... but something in her hesitated. Seventeen years of separation would do that she supposed.

Allison smiled as Five snapped at Klaus for something stupid he said, watching Klaus grin at the reaction, hair falling in his face. They were ridiculous and rude and annoying and she loved them _so much._

Allison moved forward, unpinning a diamond barrette from her dark curls, watching Klaus brush his hair back from his eyes, "Here, let me fix that for you."

Five nodded as he finished the perfectly tied bow, "That looks good. He _might_ even pass as someone respectable."

Allison resolved, then and there, as she watched Five tell Klaus his bow tying skills were acceptable (and watching Klaus light up at that praise), that they were going to get Dolores back, come hell or high water. 

* * *

Allison looked around the room, lips twisting as she looked down on an extravagant hall, long stairs leading to a large ballroom and tables filled with food and tended to, hopefully, by the caterers. The grandiose chandeliers twinkled overhead, bathing everything in soft fractals of golden brown. It was a grotesquely expensive hotel. 

She hadn’t needed to do much to get in, thankfully. She’d dropped her name and they’d all complied immediately. Their reactions had reminded her too much of her rumor and she'd had to take a moment to quell the nausea rising in her stomach. For now, she gripped the sides of her silk smooth gown and forced herself to breathe.

Klaus looked around beside her, patting her shoulder with excitement, "Holy shit, I hope they have crêpes."

Five squinted up at him, clearly back to being annoyed, "Do you only think about food? We're here to find Penny Martinez and Dolores."

Klaus shrugged, gesturing wildly, "And she's a _caterer_! She’s right by the food! I mean, we might as well have a little fun while we're doing this, right?" He glanced hopefully from Allison to Five, "Right?"

Five studied them both, Allison looking at him expectantly. He nodded, conceding to his brother's infectious enthusiasm, "Fine." His mouth worked, "I just-“ another sigh as he pinched the bridge of his nose, "Never mind."

Klaus clapped his hands, "Yes! I’m gonna go scope out the uh, catering stuff. And the food. I have the munchies." He darted down the steps, winking at a hapless waiter who'd stopped to offer him champagne.

Allison stopped Five from following Klaus down the stairs, "Wait, you just what?"

Five glanced at her and then away, obviously braced for escape if it was needed, "I’m not used to working with people." His fists clenched at his sides, voice lowering, "I’m not... I'm not used to having anyone watching my back."

Allison studied his too causal posture, "You mean, you’re not used to not having to do everything yourself. You’re not used to trusting others. You’ve relied on yourself for so long, you don’t know how to handle having help."

Five stiffened, telling Allison all she needed to know. Five swallowed, trying to distract her from how close she was to the truth, "And you don’t give a shit about yourself. You always excuse the faults of others and then act like everything is _always_ your fault. You say you have a bad personality, and yeah, you were pretty self absorbed in the past, but Allison, you’re... you're one of the best of us."

Allison stared, stunned. 

Five turned, grabbing a champagne from a passing waiter with a tight grin, "I’m going to go harass the caterers and save them from Klaus. You can do whatever, or come with or I don’t know, do whatever teams do."

The waiter opened his mouth, realizing that a minor had grabbed the drink.

Allison still felt raw and exposed, skin peeled back from her bones, which after all, must’ve been what Five was feeling at the moment. Cut open, _known_ , and somehow, _still loved_ , "We can go together. That’s what teams do."

She nodded and flashed the waiter a blinding smile before he could speak, "He's just holding it for me, thanks."

The waiter looked between them before smiling politely and moving on. Five nodded, taking a sip, "Thanks."

Allison's smile softened as she held out her arm, "Shall we?"

Five took it, fingers light around the crook of her elbow, "If we must." 

Allison pretended not to see the quirk of his lips as they walked down the stairs together.


	5. i thought love was only true in fairy tales

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Klaus gets into trouble, Five does what he does best, Allison's troubles are only just beginning, and a new player enters the scene.

"We’ve lost Klaus. I _knew_ we shouldn’t have left him."

Allison shook her head, feet hurting from the heels. Five turned, "I haven’t seen Penny anywhere, either." Allison bit her lip, grasping at straws now, "It’s only been an hour and it’s a pretty large hotel..."

Five paused, not listening. Allison asked carefully, watching his brows draw down, "Five?"

Five looked at her, something changed in his expression, as he nodded at a door near the far wall, "I think I saw her, this way."

They wound around various bystanders before reaching the door. Five ignored the staff only sign and pushed open the doors, moving through the kitchen as if he belonged. Some of the cooks and waiters stared at them, but Allison ignored them as they walked through, exiting quickly. After a few more turns, they ended up in a plush carpeted hallway, with several closed doors.

Allison frowned, trying the knob on one of the doors and finding it locked, "Great. Which one did she go through?"

Five frowned, "Well..." he moved forward, picking a door at random on the right. He pushed it open, peering cautiously down a service hallway. Allison shrugged, unsure, "It’s as good as any I guess. We can always come back."

Five moved forward down the walkway, passing several open and empty rooms before they came to an intersection. Allison bit her lip, a hand fiddling with her feathered scarf, "Was she carrying anything? Maybe we should turn around."

Five shushed her, pointing, "There, that door. I can hear voices, I’ll be right back."

Allison looked behind them nervously, "Okay, but make it quick."

Five nodded, pulling upon his powers and vanishing with a small pop. 

Allison waited nervously, one, two seconds, and then... gunshots. She cursed, "Oh, _shit_ -“ she moved forward, throwing open the door, and then throwing herself backwards immediately as a man fell out of it, a knife in his eye.

To her credit, she did not shriek. Instead she peered in around the door, eyes wide. There were at least three other men that she could see at a quick glance, dead, and Five was grappling with a fourth, near a second door on the far side. Allison cursed, moving forward, only to see a man on the opposite side of the room push himself to his feet. Allison looked around, her eyes alighting as she spotted the closest weapon. She reached down, pulling the knife out of the corpse's eye with a sickening squelch. She silently hoped Diego's knife throwing had rubbed off on her.

Allison aimed carefully, pulling back her arm, waiting... waiting... the man stilled for a moment and she threw.

The knife struck true.

Sort of.

It lodged itself into the man's arm, instead of the chest where she'd been aiming, and he stumbled backwards, surprised. There was a snap and Allison's eyes widened as she saw the man who had been attacking Five fall, dead, head twisted at an unnatural angle and eyes glazed over. There was a flash of blue and the person she’d attacked was slammed into the wall by Five. The man shoved him off as Five wrenched the knife out of his arm. The man yelped and cursed, clutching at the wound, "You little _fucker_ -“

Five grinned, and Allison hadn’t seen him smile like _that_ before. It was full and feral and _bloodthirsty_ , "Yeah, that’s me." He vanished as the man swung and popped up on his other side, stabbing the knife into the neck. The man gurgled as Five yanked it down his neck, slicing further, blood spilling over his suit.

He dropped as Five let go.

Allison gaped as her brother turned, straightening his blood splattered clothing and neatly stepping over the fallen body. Five's lips twisted, "Alright. That... didn’t go as planned."

"What _the fuck_ , Five?"

There was movement and she watched Five tense as out from under the table crawled... Allison blinked, baffled, " _Klaus?_ "

Klaus pushed himself to his feet shakily, "Yeah, Five, what the fuck?" He held out his hands, duct tape wrapped around his wrists, "Ah, also a little help?"

Five stared, confused, brows furrowed, " _What_ were you doing?"

Allison threw out her hands, "What were _you_ doing, Five?"

Five held up his finger, mood rapidly worsening, "Hey, do _not_ turn this on me. I just came in here and they started attacking me!”

Allison put her hands on her hips, "Well what the hell was- was- how...!" She took a moment and began again, "There are-“ she glanced around the room, counting quickly, " _Ten_ dead bodies in this room, Five."

Klaus held up his bound hands, "Ehm, eleven actually."

Five and Allison glowered as she snapped, " _Not_ the time, Klaus."

Klaus sighed, holding out his arms to the heavens as if they would answer, "God, I just want to be _untied_ is that too much to ask?"

Five shook his head but came over with his knife, roughly grabbing his brother’s wrists and slicing neatly downwards with too much confidence as Klaus yelped, "Wait, wait don't- what if you cut-“

Five slapped the knife on the table with a thunk, raising his brows as Klaus pulled his hands away from each other, "Oh. Oh okay. Thanks, Five."

Five glared, "Now." He eyed Klaus, deciding to address the elephant in the room, "Where _the fuck_ are your clothes?"

Five was, of course, referring to the fact that his brother only wore boxers now, and his garish socks and shoes, as well his dress shirt. Which was now on backwards.

Klaus shrugged, tapping his knee, jittery, "Oh well, you know I was busy-“

Five stepped forward, examining him closely. Another moment passed and Five squinted suspiciously, "Are you... high?"

Klaus laughed, "What? No! Of course not-“

Five nodded, lips thinning, "You _are_ high."

Allison moved forward, shaking her head, "Klaus... you need to tell us what happened."

Klaus shrugged, eyes dilated, "Those weird guys had it... A whole room of stuff! I didn’t take any, I _swear_. You know..." he pleaded, "You _know_ I’m off that stuff. But I guess it was in the air. And I was curious! I mean who has enough cocaine to start a crack den? But they didn’t notice me. At least not for a bit and then there was... there was a dog or something? And that’s where things get weird... but they tied me up. Those... those _bastards_."

Five rolled his eyes, "Great, well, he’s useless."

"Hey! I resent that!"

Allison gently took Klaus's arm, hauling him up, "C'mon, we better go-“

Five glanced up, "What? We're not leaving- we still haven’t found Penny!"

Allison glared, teeth grit, "Five. You are covered in blood, Klaus is on crack, and there are _eleven dead_ fucking _bodies_ in this room. We need to leave _now_."

Five seethed, hands clenching and unclenching, "No. We _can’t_ leave now- if we leave-“ He paused mid sentence, "Do you hear that?"

"Five, stop it-“

Five hushed her and then turned, making his way carefully over to one of the bodies. There was movement and then, Allison heard it too. Soft whining... but what? Five picked up a whimpering something, and she stared as he turned around. A soft brown dog with floppy ears and the biggest, softest, darkest wet eyes stared back at her. It yipped softly and licked Five's bloodied fingers.

Five blinked. The dog yipped again and wagged it’s tail, panting. Five looked from it, to her, to Klaus, "What... what do I do with it?"

Whatever answer she was about to give, would remain forever unknown. There was a sharp knocking on the other side of the far door and then, "Johnson, I heard gunshots! Is everything okay? Do you have the stuff?"

Five cursed softly, "Shit, we need to go."

He darted toward the closer doorway, past them and out into the hall. Klaus stared incredulously, "Was that- was that a little puppy?"

Allison took Klaus's hand, pulling him along, "Yes, Klaus." She suddenly felt very tired, "Yes, it was." 


	6. meant for someone else, but not for me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well that escalated quickly. Klaus, Allison, Five, and the newest member of their team try to find a way out of the hotel. 
> 
> -
> 
> Animal/drug abuse warning? Ish?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry that this is late! Life is really crazy rn (just like this chapter lmao) XD

"Shit, they saw us," Allison hissed and ripped at the bottom of her dress as Klaus plastered himself against the wall, "What's going on? Are we going to kill more people?" Allison rolled her eyes, the silk dress now tattered and cut just above the knee, far better for running in than before, "You're not killing anyone."

Five rolled his eyes, shedding his bloody suit jacket and dumping it on the ground. There was less blood on him now, at least, which was good in the “not getting noticed” side of things, " _I'm_ killing people. Probably. I can hear more coming at least. We need to move now." The dog in his arms whimpered as he adjusted him carefully.

Klaus cooed, making grabby hands as he remembered that his brother was, in fact, carting around a random dog, "Aw, Five, let me hold him-“

Five nodded, awkwardly holding out the squirming dog like a sack of potatoes, "Please."

Klaus reached out and the little dog snapped at his fingers, barking and growling. Five blinked with confusion and pulled the dog back to him as it whined pitifully. Allison suppressed a laugh, "Aw, he's just like you, Five."

Five glared, cradling the dog which was now trying its best to lick his nose, "We don't have time for this-“ his eyes widened, "Fuck move- get to the stairwell!” He pushed his siblings out of the corridor right as gunshots rang out, bullets ricocheting against the wall. The three of them started down the stairs, two steps at a time as Klaus shrieked and the dog barked excitedly, "Why are they attacking us? We're in public! This isn’t subtle!”

Allison threw back at him as if it were obvious, "You snorted their cocaine, Klaus!”

Klaus nearly fell down the last stair with an indignant shout, "Not on _purpose_! And _Five_ stole their dog!”

Five rolled his eyes, exasperated as he shifted the dog in his grasp, "It’s just a dog- why would they-“ he cursed, throwing out an arm to stop them, the dog huffing under his arm, tail wagging excitedly, " _Shit._ "

Even though they had stopped, the cacophonous sound of footsteps on metal still echoed... from both above and below. Five started for the closest door on the stairwell, throwing it open and plunging outwards.

Allison and Klaus followed before both paused, eyes wide with shock. Klaus stared, mouth opening and closing, "Is this... is this a _luau_...?"

The room was packed with people, a drunken crowd wearing bright colors and holding equally fruity drinks. Some were singing, some were dancing, and some were passed out on the floor.

Five pursed his lips, eyebrows still raised with surprise, "Actually... This is great. We can lose them here."

Five moved forward, bending down next to a sleeping man, most likely drunk, and pulled the unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt off of him. Five grimaced and put it on one handed, the dog in his arm yipping and trying to bite at one of the sleeves, "Hurry up, we need to get moving."

Allison nodded firmly with a, "C'mon, Klaus," grabbing the shutter shades off of a passerby with a wink as she moved further in. The person spluttered and tried to go after her but was blocked by the crowd. Five followed and, by the time they joined up at the opposite end of the room, Allison had gained a flower necklace, Five was now sporting aviators, and Klaus was wearing Allison's feather boa and holding a tray of drinks. He grinned, "Here we are! Piña coladas for everyone!"

Five took one gratefully, taking a quick sip from the long curled silly straw, "I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to drink while you’re on drugs."

Klaus waved a hand, "I’ll be fine!" He sipped from his own drink and sighed happily. Allison took one with a shrug, she’d mostly given up at this point.

Allison spoke up, trying to be heard over the noise of the music and the people, "We need to leave, Five. We can go back to Penny's apartment."

Five pushed his hair out his face, "We- we can't..." the dog woofed quietly, sniffing at his drink and Five moved it out of reach, holding the dog under his arm. He sighed, giving in as the dog looked up at him with big wet eyes. His next words were heavy, "You're right. We need to retreat and regroup. We can find Penny later."

Allison brightened, a small smile pulling at her lips, "Thanks. I’m proud of you, Five."

Five, who was absolutely not pouting, sipped from his drink, "Well, now we have to find out how to get out of this fucking hell hotel." He shot a glare at a woman who bumped into him, both him and the dog snarling at her. That shouldn’t have been as cute as it was.

Klaus gestured grandly, arms spread wide, "Yeah, let’s go! Five will kill things with his attack dog and we can go find his wife and shit it’ll be fine- oh fuck-" he almost fell backwards as someone bumped into him.

Allison rolled her eyes and shook her head, grabbing Klaus's shoulder before he toppled over, "Wow, Five. Your brother has so much confidence in you, you gonna prove him right?"

Klaus was now slow-dancing with his drink, swaying from side to side, Allison's hand still on his shoulder and keeping him from disappearing into the crowd.

Five huffed, moving towards another door, snapping back at her, "It’s the cocaine talking."

He peered into an empty hallway, and then gestured at his siblings to follow him. Allison's eyes lit up, grabbing Klaus's arm and following him, Klaus muttered something nearly unintelligible about slowing down. She pointed, "Elevators! We can get to the ground floor!"

Five nodded, pressing the button.

Klaus leaned back against the wall, humming a song. Allison pushed her hair behind her ear as she watched Klaus carefully out of the corner of her eye. She spotted his bow tie, sloppily redone around his neck. Something in her softened. He’d paid attention.

Five yawned, rubbing at his eyes and frowning as took another sip from his drink, the dog in his arms wriggling and licking his fingers. Five's frown softened miraculously at it and his tense posture relaxed.

Huh.

The doors of the elevator swung open with a ding and Five looked up, eyes widening, face paling. Three men in suits stood there, weapons up. The man in front spoke, "Don't move."

Five paused, and Allison could see him contemplating who to kill first and when and how. Allison spoke up, "Wait-“ they paused looking at her. She could see the moment the person at the far right recognized her. She spoke quickly, "I heard a rumor that you couldn’t shoot us." 

They lowered their guns, clearly surprised. She could see one of them trying to move it back up, but they clearly couldn’t. The man in the middle blinked, " _Hey_ -!” Allison smiled as Five looked up at her, clearly surprised she was using her power, "I heard a rumor you told us why you have cocaine in the building."

The man in the middle, clearly the leader of this small group at least, spoke, his other two men looking at him with clear confusion, "We're posing as drug dealers in the hopes of catching a group of buyers who are distributing a wide amount of cocaine to the city. We've been in deep cover for months now." 

Klaus laughed, incredulous, "Shit! It’s the cops! Or agents I guess?"

Allison continued over Klaus, not caring to discuss the logistics of their pursuers right now, "And... what does the dog have to do with it?"

The man stood, mouth working, eyes glassy white with her power, "He was a drug mule. We intercepted it from the original dealers and took it with us as part of the op. We've been working on this for three years. The dog sold our credibility.” 

Klaus blinked, glancing curiously at the dog squirming happily under Five's arm, "The puppy has drugs in it?" 

The man paused, "We took the drugs out first. They still think it’s carrying a valuable load of high quality cocaine. We also took a few other bags from lockup to authenticate the setup. The deal would’ve gone down without a hitch and we would’ve taken out the largest ring of drug distributors on the east coast _if_ _you three hadn’t shown up and_ _stolen the damn dog_."

Klaus choked, probably remembering the room he’d said he’d been too, " _Only a few bags?_ "

Five side-eyed Klaus, worry building, “There are two groups of people in the building trying to kill us?"

The man stared down at him, as if truly noticing him for the first time, "Why is there a child covered in blood?"

Five's eyes narrowed. 

Allison decided to speak before her brother acted, "I heard a rumor you went down the hallway and forgot you ever met us."

They turned, like puppets with their strings being manipulated, and walked stiffly away. Five slipped into the elevator, jamming the first floor button with no small amount of vehemence as the elevator doors closed, "Well that was great. Let’s get the fuck out of here so that we don’t interrupt anymore surprise sting operations."

Klaus began slowly, "You know... we could _sell_ the drug dog-“

Five turned on him, something vicious and desperate in his words, "We're _not_ selling the dog, Klaus. We are not getting _in the middle of a drug deal._ Maybe later we can indulge your destructive tendencies, but now is not the time. I haven’t... I haven’t found my wife, or Penny or _anything_ \- we are in _exactly_ the same place as we were _ten hours ago_. And you’re high!"

Klaus nodded as the elevator dinged, not at all taken aback by his brother's fury. He trotted after him as he stormed out into the lobby, "I really am- but it wasn’t my fault! How was I supposed to know it was a room full of cocaine?”

Allison patted his shoulder as they opened the door to the outside, the night air hot and humid, "It’s alright, Klaus. It could have happened to anyone."

Five scoffed, starting down the steps, taking two at a time. Allison frowned, putting her borrowed shades up on her head so she could see her brother clearly, "Five, seriously. We need to talk."

Five stopped at the bottom of the steps, turning to stare up at his sister as he set down the drink on the steps to adjust the drug dog, as Klaus had dubbed it, still wiggling in his arms, "Okay. Yeah, we can talk." His voice implied the exact opposite.

Allison took a step down, hesitating, "Five. I hate to say this but Dolores... Dolores isn’t real. She's a mannequin. You just killed a dozen people for a piece of plastic." 

Five's lips thinned, trembling as Allison continued, "I get it. You were alone for forty years. You were desperate. She was a coping mechanism. But you’re not married to a piece of plastic, Five. You need to let her go."

Klaus hissed, obviously worried, " _Allison_..."

Five glared at her, darkness in his eyes, "You know, at least I didn’t fuck my brother."

" _Five!_ "

Klaus choked on his own spit.

Allison put her hands on her hips, "I didn’t- we _never_ \- it- that’s _not_ what we're discussing right now."

The dog whined, licking Five's chin as he glowered at her, petting it’s head unconsciously, "I _know_ Dolores is a mannequin. Do you think I don't? Do you think I’m an idiot? No, wait, I’m sorry," he laughed mirthlessly, "Yes, you _do_. You look at me and all you see is a _child_. You see Claire. I’m not _your kid_ , Allison, I'm not even _a_ kid. I'm not. Hell, I killed Princess fucking Diana."

"You what?"

Five ignored Klaus, continuing furiously, "Dolores isn’t real. Yes. I know. Do you think I don't? I _know_ she's plastic. I know there’s something _really fucking wrong_ with me. But she kept me sane. And she didn’t survive the past forty fucking years in a post apocalyptic wasteland only to die just as we finally fixed everything. I refuse to believe that she never got her happy ending, Allison. I refuse to believe that- that in the end, _I_ was still the one who got her killed."

Allison's mouth worked as Five looked up at her somehow still full of rage even as he begged her to understand, "I am fifty-eight years old, Allison. I know what I’m doing. I even... I even let Dolores go. I moved on. I let the apocalypse go. But she’s in danger now, regardless. And we have to save her."

Allison slumped, defeated, "Come hell or high water."

Klaus started forward, down the steps to pick up the drink Five had put down, "Well I, personally, thought Dolores was Five's better half, but if we just wanna ignore that and let him go on killing people will-nilly-“

Five snorted softly, something gentle in him at that, "She is."

Allison sighed, brushing a hand through her curls, "I’m sorry, Five. I know she’s important to you. I’m just... I’m _worried_ about you. I want you to be healthy. To be _happy_."

Five straightened, shaking his head as he turned to follow Klaus, "Well, now you know how I feel."

Allison blinked, breath hitching, "Excuse me? Wait, Five-“ she started after him, "What did you just say?"

Five looked over his shoulder, opening his mouth as she reached the bottom. Allison was expecting him to say something sarcastic back. What he did instead was far more alarming. He reached for Klaus, "Get down!"

Allison turned, eyes widening as she saw several men with guns spilling out the front of the hotel. Were they the undercover police or the drug dealers?

"He has the dog!"

Shit. Probably the drug dealers then. Allison hit the ground, curling behind a mailbox as they opened fire, and yeah, holy shit, Klaus was right. Did they not care that this was a public hotel?

Five and Klaus had managed to get behind a car. She held her hands over her head and tried to make herself as small as possible. She heard the familiar whoosh of her brother's powers and the bullets _stopped_. Or at least, stopped pinging off of the ground and mailbox beside her.

She peeked out from behind the mailbox just in time to see Five elbow a man in the windpipe before slipping neatly out of sight, a whirl of speed and wind and sound.

Allison stared, fingers tightening as she watched her brother move. He appeared at the opposite end, lips curled as he jabbed one of the men in the stomach, wrenching the weapon away from him as he crumpled.

The others turned, about a dozen of them that she could count, but Five had slipped away again.

He appeared in front of them, away from her and Klaus, lips curved upwards, "Excuse me, gentlemen." They turned again, already shooting again. Five vanished just before the bullets hit his feet, appearing behind their backs and firing. Two of them seemed to have guessed what was going to happen and ducked, the rest very much didn't and they paid the price for it.

The gun clicked empty and Five scoffed before dropping the gun and disappearing.

One of the survivors stood, and Five popped back into reality with a vicious snarl and a kick. The man managed to block it, but only just. Allison stood, finally pushing herself into motion. The second man who'd managed to survive Five's initial onslaught, moved forward, bringing his gun up to aim for her brother.

Allison opened her mouth with a cry of an alarm, but she was beaten by a small brown blur. It launched itself at the man's leg and latched on, wriggling and growling. The man yelped, shaking his foot with disgust, "Get _off_ you mutt!"

Five glanced backwards, distracted, "Mr. Pennycrumb!"

Allison would’ve laughed at the name ( _when had he even come up with that?_ ) but the situation wasn’t funny. The man was preparing to strike the small puppy with the butt of his rifle. Five started, but his attacker took his distraction as an opportunity to strike. Five stumbled backwards as the hit landed, wiping at his bloodied lip and turning to face his attacker with a furious snarl.

Allison shot up the stairs, fuck _everything_ \- Dolores was plastic but _why not?_ Who had said that wasn’t allowed? If Klaus could do weed at thirteen and Diego could become knockoff Batman and she could rumor herself an entire life as a coping mechanism, then Five could have something as simple as a plastic wife. And she’d be damned if Five lost one more fucking thing in his _tragic fucking life_ , "Hey asshole!"

He glanced up just in time for her punch to land. He reeled backwards, stumbling as the newly dubbed Mr. Pennycrumb held on, snarling. Allison took the opportunity to rip his gun from his hands and, with all the ferocity of an angry sister, she swung it around, slamming the butt of the rifle into his chin. There was the sick thunk of metal striking flesh and the man fell backwards, unconscious as Allison stood over him, panting, hair askew. Mr. Pennycrumb continued wrestling with the man's limp leg.

There was the sound of a body falling and she glanced up as Five came up behind her, wiping at his face, "Nice work."

Allison nodded and blew a stray curl out of her face, letting the gun fall, "Yeah, well, that’s what teammates are for. And he was gonna hit the dog." She added, brows furrowed with no small amount of outrage, "Who _hits_ a dog?"

Five gave a half-nod, lips twisting in complete agreement. 

A dress shoe bounced off of the window next to them and they startled, turning to see Klaus, now missing a shoe as he stumbled up, "And take that!"

Five sighed, "Thanks, Klaus."

Klaus nodded before his eyes widened, mouth opening into an 'o', "Oh, and good news guys! I saved our drinks!"

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is here: https://ford-ye-fiji.tumblr.com/


End file.
